Worth remembering.

A deep breath and I remind myself to remember this.  Remember how this feels.  Right now.  This is worth remembering.

~~~~~  

I was always the one that was different.

Never quite fit in.

I was homeschooled growing up and I loved it.  But to my friends growing up, I was different.

I was the back-up friend.  They only had time for me when they made the rest of their friends mad.  Always last in line, never worthy in their eyes to be at the top of the list.  So many tears wasted on them.

I would suggest something, but my opinion never mattered to them.  I never got a vote.  I was homeschooled.

Therefore I was different.

Wild parties and drugs never mattered to me.  I never saw the appeal of getting drunk.  I still don't.  I've never felt the need to act like a complete idiot in public or give a beverage such control over me.  But I obviously just didn't know how to have fun.  

It never really bothered me, but I knew what they thought.

They figured I would be screwed up.

How could I possibly handle going to a large public college when I'd never been in a real classroom?  And really, photography? What a stupid dream.  I bet she changes her mind in a few weeks.

They bet I would be socially awkward.  They bet I would never be able to make friends.  They were so sure I would be the lonely wall flower in that dark corner of the room.

~~~~~

I'm a few weeks away from my 22nd birthday.  And I can honestly say, "Hell yeah. I turned out different."  I thank God for it everyday of my life.

I thank God I have parents who told me when I was little that I could be anything I wanted to be.  And more importantly, I thank God they never stopped telling me.

They taught me how to fight for what I want.  They taught me how to work and work hard.  They taught me how to find information when it's not handed to me on a silver platter.  

They taught me impossible is nothing more than a challenge.

And this so called wall flower, well she can walk into a room full of strangers and walk out with friends.

And the girl who would never have any friends, has real friends now.  Amazing friends.  Who stand by me and support me.  I'm no longer the "back-up" friend.  They listen to me and my opinions.  And we can go out and have fun without being so drunk we can't find the car.  

So to everyone who doubted me.  To everyone who thought I would turn out so strange.  To everyone who never cared to listen to my opinion...

~~~~~

A deep breath and I remind myself to remember this.  Remember how this feels.  Right now.  Because this... this moment in time...


This is worth remembering.

(a photo from a recent wedding with Hannah Michele Photography)